owwwwwwwwwwwwch :( ackkkk it hurtssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >.<

^that is pretty much all i've been thinking all day^

have you ever wondered if somewhere in the world, there is someone who's thinking the same thoughts as you? like what if somewhere in the world right now, theres someone who's wondering this same thing??? its crazy...so hard to wrap your mind around...if there's someone out there who thinks the same thoughts as me, i want to know them...i dont care how young or old...i want to know if theres someone with almost the exact same personality. not looks. just personality. if you've found someone who's got almost the same personality as you, comment and please tell me your story.

why is it that ever since my last relationship ended, i can't find anyone new??

when we broke up, even though i was the one who ended it, i miss it...i dont miss HIM, i just miss having a boyfriend...

i know what i want...i know what i dont want...i guess thats the point of teenage relationships...you learn how to work through your problems with each other, how to get along and what you want in your future relationships. i learned those things.

but i want to narrow it down :) i want a new guy. someone better. someone who i can learn new things from. or maybe...someone who's just right so i never have to learn anything about relationships ever again because we're so perfect for each other...but im a teenager...i dont even WANT to meet "the one" yet...i want to have more fun before i deal with that kind of relationship...i want something casual...where we can have fun and talk and laugh. unlike my ex. i cant take another relationship where we have bad communication and no sense of humor, and ESPECIALLY the awkwardness...i think that as a teenager, not only do you LEARN from relationships, its also a way to expand your social network, and to get to know different types of people. thats supposed to be fun, not stressful. gaaah and here i am rambling about my stupid boy problems again. you may not believe it, but i DO actually have a life outside of guys. they're just on my mind today because of certain events that have happened recently that i posted about (second post from the bottom). ok...so i'll try to focus on something else :) i guess sometimes thats all a girl can do.

music...its my escape

if im happy, if im sad, if im mad, if im laughing

whatever my mood is, i have the music to match it ... or counteract it...

i listen

i write

i play

i love

im not picky

i write pop and country

but i'll listen to pretty much anything

that lifts my spirits or is a comforting friend

music is my passion.

my love.

my inspiration.

my companion.

he says he'll never lie to me

but then he does.

i mean...come on...if you're gonna lie, at least tell a believable lie...

so that i can keep convincing myself that i can trust you

i'm in too deep

and i dont know which way to swim towards the surface

do i let you down gently

or do i confront you with the courage that i know i can find.

i am strong. i am independent. i seem pathetic and desperate.

the truth is that i just want another person to care for me.

i just want to know that someone out there is wishing i was in his arms.

i know someday i'll find this person... and he won't lie to me like you do.

you know who you are

you may ask why i think this is a good idea.

to tell you the truth, i'm not even sure.

all i know is that i wish to be creative and have a way to get my thoughts out of my head.

to clear my mind.

so read if you wish, but if you don't like it, or if you don't read it, i really don't care.

that's not the point.